The Internal Model
"I'm trying to free your mind, Neo. But I can only show you the door. You're the one that has to walk through it."
We’re all trying to make sense of our experiences. To that end, we’re all model-makers. Within our minds, we create a representation of our worlds, embodying (trying to knit together) all of our experiences, including physical, mental, emotional, spiritual…
If you didn’t already know, the model world within your mind is the world you inhabit almost all of the time. This is your “Matrix”. You do not live in the “real” world.
OK – the world you inhabit is “real” in the sense that if you die in the Matrix, you die in the real world – but beyond that, it’s only a simulation, a simulacrum, a model. It’s amazing, but it’s not really real.
Imagine you experience some kind of fracturing experience (whether that’s being brought up in a broken home, or your favourite toy breaking, or having something stolen, or being uprooted from your home, or a friend breaking a promise) – this experience needs to be assimilated into your internal model. We could say that the experience becomes imprinted in your inner world – so your Matrix world incorporates that fracture.
The stronger the emotion associated with the experience, the bigger and more ubiquitous will the fracture seem in your Matrix world.
And remember: you live in the Matrix, not in the real world, so those fractures in your world make you think and feel that this is what reality is.
In reality, everything is everywhere – so you're going to see what you're looking for, whatever that is, everywhere you look.
Seeing Yourself Wherever You Look
We don't perceive reality as it actually is. We perceive everything through the filter of our internal model of reality. We've all got different models of what we think reality is, so we all perceive reality differently. Your Matrix, your world, is different to mine.
So if you're walking around in a fractured model of reality, not only do you tend to see fractures and fracturing forces all over the place, but some part of you also believes that fracturing and fragmenting is the way to solve things...
And if your internal model of reality has strict, dominating, controlling elements woven into it, then you will see out-of-control radical/ extreme forces acting up in your world; and you will seek to solve things by demanding more laws to keep you safe, more centralisation, and by looking to disempower dissenting voices.
Upgrade your Model
So what are you noticing about your world? And remember: it is your world – your Matrix. What are the thoughts and feelings that come up for you as you experience your world?
If you don't like what you're seeing/ experiencing, what can you actually do about it?
Can you run or hide from your internal model? No, you carry it with you.
Can you make everyone and everything else behave how you want them to? No, you cannot (and that's before we even consider whether you should or should not) – if you try, it is like looking into a pool and trying to change your reflection by pushing the water around.
So what can you do? As a first step, remember whose thoughts and feelings are being triggered by your experiences – they are yours. You can change yourself. You can change your model of what you believe reality is. It's so easy – though we tend to put obstacles in the way (like holding onto blame, resentment, a sense of unfairness, holier-than-thou thoughts, etc.) because we've got a lot invested in our old (broken) model. We need to remind ourselves that it's not working for us! Maybe it's time to reprogram our Matrix.
It all starts with taking ownership of your thoughts and feelings. If someone upsets you, whose upset is it? It's yours, right?
It’s especially obvious when you’re upset about something which happened in the past, or which you imagine coming your way in the future – then you KNOW the upset is part of your internal Matrix, rather than existing in the real world of here and now – so it’s inescapably your upset.
We can only get upset if our internal model of reality is disconnected or divergent from actual reality. If you’re living in reality, nothing can upset you.
So anyone who upsets you is showing you a flaw in your internal model (a glitch in your Matrix) – so they are helping you!
The people who upset us most are our greatest saviours.
...Maybe an unsavoury thought, in one way. But in another way, it reveals everyone to be there for us, even when we think or feel they are acting against us. Whether we are aware of it or not, everything is a big unity, with everyone supporting everyone. There's gold everywhere if you look for it...